Journal 1

I hope my words help you understand the simple but yet so complicated color that is red. As a person who can see everything clearly I can honestly tell you that I've taken everything around me for granted. Now that I sit here with you trying my best to describe something that seems so vague to me, something that is just an every day sight no words come to mind well three words do, "it's just red" but you've never seen this color. Let me tell you sir, it's the color that's inside you ruining through your very soul. The color of the sun hitting your face creating a warm feeling around you. It's the flavor of smooth wine sliding down your throat burning a slow burn.  It's the love you have for your family, your art and yourself. It's your passion, that slow smile that forms on your face when you hear the one you love whisper "I love you." Red is also anger, a sign warning you of pain to see

Journal 2

Competition is everywhere, you see it in the smallest form. Healthy competition I believe, comes when you compete against yourself, when all you're trying to do is prove yourself wrong, to push yourself farther and to make yourself do things you never thought you could. There's also the healthy competitions you have against other but it's for the same reason to see who can push themselves farthest, who can push towards that finish line with all their might and not stop till they're the first ones across it.  It seems like we compete with each other without even knowing it. Who has the newest phone? who has the most friends, who has the nicest clothes, we compete in everything we do and more times than not we do it subconsciously, when you compete to see who has the best not who is the best, that's a kind of unhealthy competition. Also, some people go to the extremes when they want something, they're willing to do it all, weather it's risking their health or that of someone else.  The line can be easily blurred with these two ideas. Competition is a important part of our society, as we compete with each other in many ways, countries are identified by all the good they have done, and by all the people who stand out from that country. Weather it's Coldplay from England. Lady Gaga from The United States, or Shakira from Colombia. They're all great artist and they all represent their country, weather they want it or not, of course there's other types of competition there's the international sports weather it's soccer, hockey, boxing, basketball, football, or baseball, it's all a competition, it all leads to one big game weather it's every four years or an annual game. Every sport comes down to one day, two teams and one championship to crown who is the best, but not only are they crowning the best as champions but also who had faught the hardest throughout that season, who gave their absolute best and nothing less.

Journal 3

I've taken many things I've learned in class and incorporated them into my daily life, simple vocabulary, or just the way you present your self in a whole different light. As school progressed, and I learn new things I like to use them on my family or in every day conversation. It's fun to look back and see how much I've really learned, in 8th grade I had no idea syntax and diction were the components of tone. It's quite interesting, and exciting to see myself transform into this girl who knows what she's talking about. I love writing, it's been quite rewording to see how much my writing has changed not only in my Timed Writes, but also in my personal journals. I know I have a long way to go, but learning all this new information is really starting to change my life and how I look at different situations. I'ts making me more open, and really skeptical about everything that goes on. I really think about the things people say now, and sometimes I even see how I could word it differently to make it sound better.

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journal 5

If I had the power to have  $1 million dollars to spend on any part of the world, it would be spend in

journal 6

I have truly tried to change my way of thinking, I'm a realistic person, someone who doesn't see the story's she writes as something that will happen in real life, it's all in your head. I've tried to change that many times, it seems like I talk to others as if they understood how I think, but I've come to realize that not may think like I do specially my girlfriends, they have this whole fairy tale planed out, and here comes evil Michelle to ruin their dreams by crushing their dreams. I don't do it on purpose, I promise, I just wish they didn't think like that cause more times than less they end up getting disappointed with others, or even themselves. I've tried changing in a way where I don't just say what comes to my mind, I know that can be hurtful, my intentions are never to hurt someone.

journal 7

journal 8

"After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and changing a soul and you learn that love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't always mean security and you begin yo learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises and you begun to accept you defeats with your head yo you eyes ahead with the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child" 

-Veronica Shoffstall 

It took me about an hour and a half to choose this quote, and I don't even think it's accurate enough.  My mom always called me an old soul, I'm more mature than many kids my age, I think about things differently I'm not saying I am better, because I'm not. I do however, see life in a different way. Without having the scars of that first love, without knowing what it's like to fall in love and have a teenage relationship, I know that some things mean nothing. I know that just because someone says they love you it doesn't mean they feel it, that they mean it and are devoted to you like they should be when the utter those three words. To be honest "Love" is a word used much to often, and not enough in the right situations. Life changes in a flash, you could love someone today, and hate them tomorrow, it's part of being a teenager right? having those emotions up and down, till you want to scream for everything to stop. I understand though, that just because someone says they love you, doesn't mean the meant it, just because someone is with you doesn't mean they will be forever, tomorrows not even guaranteed. Life moves like roller coaster with really bad seatbelts, you need to hold on, at every high and at every low and sometimes life will take really sharp turns and some people will fall of that roller coaster, to never be seen again. I

Journal 9

I would choose to commemorate Art, and I don't know if there's already a day for that but I would like a whole day, a whole week if possible that could be dedicated to art. I'm talking about every kind of art there is, dance, theater, music, photography, painting, drawing, sculpting, writing, everything! I as an artist myself, like to think of life as a canvas you can write anything you want, splash paint around, scratch things out, you can do anything you want. It's yours to create, loose yourself in that big canvas that is your life, do different things, try to put your entire heart into this piece of art, our your heart and soul into it, because at the end of the day that's all you have to show. At the end of your life you'll look back at that painting, smile at all the colors and remember all the hard time, but it will be all yours no one can take that canvas away from you. Your friends will see it, your family and maybe some strangers, and they will all see how you did, so make it beautiful. The day(s) would be endless, people will be outside, kids will run around with chalk writing on anything they can get their hands on, the streets will be splattered in paint, and words will be written in the sky. There's smiles, and laughter, and love lots and lots of love. There wont be a time when you go to sleep, cause inspiration strikes at the strangest moments, and when that inspiration strikes and runs through every cell of your body all you have to do is follow it, do whatever you feel like doing. The streets will be alive with music, and drawings, and paint. You'll be with everyone you like and you'll rub off on each other, creating masterpieces together, after all life is a big canvas you can't do it all by yourself.

journal 10

"There's gonna be hundreds of people who are gonna want to see you fall on your fu*king face, but this is what you do little sis, you keep going, you don't give a flying fu*k about what they say, but remember, never, ever, forget who you are, who got you here, and most of all where you came from. That's what's most important, just never forget who got you to where you are, cause god knows you can't do it all by yourself. Most of all, be happy, always be happy, don't waste one minute of your life being miserable, not when you have these many people that got your back. Not when you have me."

My brother Sergio said this to me when I was about 13 year old, I believe I had come home from school extremely upset because something had happened, I don't remember the specifics, but even after 4 years of him uttering those words, I remember them clearly. My family and I aren't affectionate, we tend to hold in our emotions. We love each other, of course we do, but we don't show it much. My brother especially, is very closed, he's the funniest person I've ever met, but he's never shown his emotion towards anyone. except my mom, and I think that's how we all are. When my brother said this to me, it really means more than anything, his words were engraved into my memory, forever with me. I often remember that day, that moment as he looked at me, hi fierce eyes were filled with anger, and a sort of helplessness. He wanted to help me, he wanted to go towards those kids and give them a piece of his mind, but of course he knew he couldn't do that. In that moment it made me realize how lucky I was to have a brother who wanted to protect me as much as he did. Those words, are mine to keep, I never forget them. Any time someone is giving me a hard time, because of what I like, what I think, or what my beliefs are, I always remember his words. They've helped me more than he will ever know, they've helped me stand up for myself, and sometimes even for others. 

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journal 12

Journal13

Dear roommate,
I hope you're ready for the thunder that's about to com clashing down on you. I'm only joking, I'm more of a light drizzle, something you don't notice. I would like you to know a little bit about me, I don't care much for people, I'm not a nice person. I guess that's because I'm too in touch with reality or maybe I'm just anti-social, I still haven't decided. You have to accept the world as it is, I'm realistic about many things, specially love, boys, girls, and how others act. I know that promises are nothing but spoken words, that everyone will screw you over, no matter how much or how little they do it, they still do. Humans, we're selfish, we're hypocrites, and we are cowards, well most of us, and I say us because at some point we were all those things. I realize a lot of girls my age don't understand the reality of love, well I don't know if I do either, but I do know it's not like they out it in Hollywood. Love is agonizing, it's constant worrying about if you're doing the right thing, not only for you but for that other person, I find it entirely too tiring, you don't only have to worry about your feelings, and thoughts but you have to take in consideration those of another person and I mean really try to understand that person. It's a waste to be honest, we'll die alone anyways, so whats the point, save all the pain an the theatrics for the theater. As you can see, I have different view points on how life is, now don't get me wrong, I believe in love but I don't believe it's simple, it's a web, it's thread after thread tangled around each other until you get so tangled that you can never separate and that's the beauty of it, having someone by your side, but see I don't believe you need someone. Sorry for that rant by the way, I just saw Tangled and it really made me think of how since we're little we get this idea, this "dream" in our heads, engraved into us by all these movies, and shows, that out there, there's someone perfect. Well no one's perfect, and what's with Rapunzels hair turning brown after it's cut, what's wrong with brown? what is it not magical like blond? It's entirely all too sad really, to see little girls grow up believing one day they'll find Mr.Perfect, all their lives they spend looking for someone that doesn't exist. I ramble on a lot, I get really into talking about different subjects, don't worry I will probably not say a word for a month or two, I take a while to get used to others. I don't have many preferences as when it comes to living with someone, just stay our of my space, that's all I ask, be clean, please I don't need to see your dirty underwear on our floor as I walk into our dorm. There will be a lot of Coldplay played in our dorm, and if you don't like them I suggest you start looking to room with someone different. If you want to know a little bit about my back round, I am Mexican, I'm very passionate, I like chocolate and oranges, not together though. I say "beautiful" a lot, but when I say it, I mean it. I don't believe in religion, so don't try to convince me to join whatever religion you're in, just respect me and I'll respect you. That's all, I hope you have a wonderful day, and I look forward to spending time with you in our dorm. (That's the polite thing to say, right?)

Journal 14

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Journal 16

Journal 17

Personal issues, we all have those, weather we are too stubborn to admit them or if they're all laid out in the open in front of us for everyone to see. If you intend to change the world, you need to start with yourself. We all have personal issues and no matter how small the problem is, it's still a problem. It takes a lot of courage and dedication to move on, it also takes a lot of

journal 18

The staff, not all of it of course we are very lucky to have some very wonderful, dedicated, honest teachers here at Castle Park but we also have other staff members who lack those traits and then some. I would change our library, I would make it bigger and have it filled with books that could appeal to everyone. The main area where I would change our staff is the counselors, it took me two years to figure out that they didn't give two cents for us as individuals. Never in my two and a half years of being at this school have I ever seen my counselor, now I know I can't blame this all on them- in my personal experience- but I have tried leaving slips and request to see my counselor but never being called. In all honesty it makes me furious to know that these adults have the responsibility to care for our education to guide us so we can be on the road to getting into a good university or collage, they're supposed to be making sure we're on the path to graduate High School, but they don't do their job right. I would make our counselors focus very specifically with the 10th and 11th graders, to meet with us at least once a semester, just to check up on how we're doing in our classes in if we are missing any credits or need help in finding the right collage or even major for us. As a student who has just waltz through the first two years of my high school education it's just hitting me that in less than a year and a half I will be walking out those doors, with a world ahead of me and it terrifies me to think that I'm not ready, and maybe things will change in that year and a half I have of being in school, but as of right now I'm horrified of the future and what lies ahead of me, all because I feel unprepared. That's why I want our school to have a better support system for our students so others don't feel as unprepared and terrified of the future as I do. 

Journal 19

Journal 20